Plagiarized, Annotated Recipes

To Celebrate His Honorable Joshua White on the Thirtieth Anniversary of the Day of His Birth



 We did it up right:
5-Hour FOMO (aka Five Hour Joshua)
Ingredients: -One 5-Hour Energy Bottle per person -One bottle of Makers Mark (or equivalent whiskey) -One jar of Maraschino cherries
Directions: Empty 5-Hour Energy down a drain or into an abandoned ditch or magical well. Fill with whiskey. Chug with friends so as to hear cartoon-quality chug-chug-chug noise. Eat a cherry.
Savory Mini-Pies
 Ingredients:
-One container of Pillsbury biscuit dough
-Some stuff you might want to put inside it, like ground beef, gorgonzola, onions, and peppers.

Directions:
-Sautée up beef. Stuff it inside of biscuit dough and follow directions on container.

Sweet Mini Pies
 Ingredients:
-One container of Pillsbury biscuit dough
-Some stuff you might want to put inside it, like canned pumpkin, Nutella, marshmallow, etc.

Directions:
-Dish delicious things into biscuit dough and follow directions on container. Consi…

Ringing in the New Year in Jamaica Plain, MA with Becca, Mandala, and JWhitie



Menu: Bubbe Mildred's brisket (courtesy of Cheryl's Vitow Family Cookbook), followed by apple cake taken directly from Smitten Kitchen, served with some Ben & Jerry's Vanilla, bien sur.





Cake:

For the apples
6 apples, (McIntosh?)
1 tablespoon ground cinnamon
5 tablespoons granulated sugar
For the cake
2 3/4 cups flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
1 teaspoon fine sea or table salt
1 cup vegetable oil (safflower, sunflower, olive and coconut oil also work, as does melted butter)
2 cups granulated sugar
1/4 cup orange juice
2 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
4 large eggs
Heat oven to 350 degrees. Grease a tube pan. Peel, core and chop apples into 1-inch chunks. Toss with cinnamon and 5 tablespoons sugar and set aside. Stir together flour, baking powder and salt in a large mixing bowl. In a separate bowl, whisk together oil, orange juice, sugar, vanilla and eggs. Mix wet ingredients into dry ones; scrape down the …

From Smitten Kitchen, bien sur.
-Super important substitution: Chocolate chips instead of walnuts.
-Note: In the future, I'd use a saltier potato chip, or add salt to the batter. This also might taste good with caramel.



Yields 3-4 Dozen
Cookie
1 cup (2 sticks or 225 grams) unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 cup (200 grams) granulated sugar, divided
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1/4 teaspoon table salt (optional, see note above)
3/4 cup chocolate chips
1/2 cup finely crushed potato chips
2 cups (250 grams) all-purpose flour Potato chip salt finish (optional)
1 tablespoon crushed potato chips
1 1/2 teaspoons flaked sea salt
Preheat your oven to 350 degrees F. Line two baking sheets with parchment paper and set aside. In a large bowl, cream together the butter with 1/2 cup of the sugar until lightly and fluffy. Mix in the vanilla and table salt, if using, until smooth. Add the chocolate, 1/2 cup crushed potato chips and flour together and mix until just combined.  Place the remaining 1/2…

Oh. My. God.




Yield: 5 quarts, or about 10 to 12 meal-sized servings
Broth
2 medium-large yellow onions, unpeeled, halved or 1 large onion plus 1 large leek, cleaned and cut lengthwise
2 garlic cloves, peeled and smashed a little
1 large carrot
1 large parnsip (optional)
1 celery rib
4 quarts water
4 pounds chicken bones (from about two carcasses leftover from a roast or rotisserie) or a combination of fresh chicken wings (my first choice), backs, necks or feet
1 tablespoon kosher salt
1/2 teaspoon dried thyme or 2 teaspoons chopped fresh
1/8 teaspoon red pepper flakes
1 tablespoon tomato paste
1 bay leaf
To Finish
3 bone-in skin-on chicken breast halves
2 large carrots, peeled and diced or 1 large carrot and 1 large parsnip, diced
1 large leek, trimmed and sliced into 1/2-inch segments
1 to 2 celery ribs, chopped or diced
9 ounces thin egg noodles or soup noodles of your choice
2 tablespoons finely-chopped flat-leaf parsley
Make the broth: Combine all ingredients in a large (6 to 8 quart) stock pot over h…